Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Everyone Knows a Miracle Baby

If people know you are trying to have a baby, or if they just *assume* you're trying to have a baby (since you've been married for 8 years and have no offspring), they feel the need to give you all sorts of reassuring stories. Like, "Maybe you are trying too hard. I know a couple that tried for a long time, and then they got drunk one night and got pregnant". Sadly, all my nights of heavy drinking have resulted in no babies.

Maybe you explain to them that no, it's not that we're trying too hard, I actually have an endocrine problem that makes it hard for me to get pregnant. And then they (of course) know someone who tried for YEARS to have a baby, spent $30k on in vitro fertilization, donor eggs, donor sperm, donor uterus, donor storks, and got nothing. So they gave up, prepared to live out their lives in childless loneliness. And then lo and behold! They had a miracle baby! It's amazing that everyone seems to have one of these stories.

A friend of mine (who really did have a miracle baby - I told you everyone has a story like that), told me that there are probably a limited number of miracle babies in the world, but most people know them. Like the 6 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon. 3 degrees of separation from someone's miracle baby.

But what about the other stories? The couple that tried for years, spent their life savings, and then got rejected from the adoption process because they were too old at that point? I'm pretty sure everyone knows LOTS of people like that. I just haven't decided if it's a kindness or not that people don't share THOSE stories with me.

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