Today was...well, today was crap. There's really no other way to describe it. The day started with a 10am ovary check, after my second round of clomid. It was supposed to clear the way for me to start a round of injectable fertility drugs. It's the 3rd day of my cycle, so I also got to have a pelvic exam while on my period. Which, probably didn't bother the doctor, but really grossed me out. The doctor didn't like the look of my right ovary. It seems that the combination of the PCOS and the clomid turned my ovary into a misshapen mass of cysts. Bloody ones. He sent me down to the lab for an estrogen panel, and told me to show back up at 3:30 for a shot training class. While getting my blood drawn, the lab tech felt the need to not let the alcohol swab dry before stabbing with me a needle. And, despite my great veins, she also dug around a bit with the needle, making a bunch of ugly red marks on my arm. I was also told by my doctor to get a sample cup for a semen analysis for my husband. Which, first of all, involves asking my husband to provide a semen analysis. Then I had to get him entered into the computer, set up a lab drop off time for him (even though I couldn't tell them a date), and having another lab tech tell me that my husband needed to have abstained from ejaculation for 3-7 days. I asked if longer than 7 days was okay, and he said no. And now he also knows that we don't have sex that often. Sigh.
3:30 comes around, and I'm in a class with a bunch of other subfertile women. The nurse practitioner tells us all about how to give ourselves shots, how to store the shots, when to give them, and what the schedule is like for the month. Apparently, they have everyone on the same schedule, so they can treat a bunch of people at the same time. Kind of like inseminating cattle. At some point, the NP looks at my chart. "We need to call the doctor before we give you the first shot today". She calls him. He tells her that I need to wait a month or so, to let my ovaries calm down. She tells me this information, and says I need to go on birth control. WHAT? Apparently, this is what you do to let the cysts go down. At this point, they don't know when they are starting the August cycle of injections. So, I'm supposed to start taking the birth control, and call in a week or so when the hopefully have their schedule. However, B is taking a climbing trip in September, and he's been planning it for a year. So, if it conflicts, I have to stay on the Pill for two months, before starting the next round of treatment.
For some reason, this totally undoes me. I start crying uncontrollably in front of the NP, and the other subfertiles. The other subfertiles have their partners with them, and I'm all alone. Not that I need B to be there - he has a job. But it still makes me feel stupid. The NP gives me some line about infertility being hard. Then, to add insult to injury, she tells me I should still practice giving myself a shot, otherwise I'll have to come back and do this stupid seminar in a month. So, I jab an empty needle into my belly, and pretend to inject myself with hormones.
On the way out of the clinic, I stop at the pharmacy to pick up two months of birth control pills. The pharmicist sees that I am also on a bunch of fertility drugs, and questions why I would do such a thing. So I wind up explaining my subfertility, previous clomid cycles, and ovarian cysts to her. Which is exactly what I wanted to do.
At this point I go in the bathroom and sob for about 10 minutes. Then I go to meet B, as he has a work picnic. I'm pretty sure they'll all be asking him tomorrow why his wife is so morose.
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